|
Choosing a Family that is Right for You
It is pretty common in today´s adoption world for a woman with an unplanned pregnancy to choose an adoptive family for her child. Deciding on qualities that are important to you and your baby can be challenging and confusing.
Sometimes Birth Moms want to find a family that has similar qualities to her own family. Other times, they want to find families who possess qualities that were missing in their own families as they themselves grew up.
As we go through life, we use our personal experiences to help us in evaluating life choices. If you consider the things in your life that have been positive and look for those qualities in a family for your baby, it will help you a lot in choosing the right family for your baby to grow up in.
Here are some questions that you may want to ask yourself while choosing an Adoptive Family.
 How do I feel about a Single Parent vs. a Two Parent household?
Some Birth Mothers feel like they themselves can’t provide a stable father for their baby and so for that reason, they choose to place their baby for adoption in a two-parent household. But for other Birth Moms, a single parent placement may be suitable if the parent can completely provide for the child financially and emotionally.
Taking time to consider how you feel about single Moms and Dads can be helpful at this time. You may have great roll models in your life for single parenting. On the other hand, you may have been raised in a single parent household yourself and feel that having one parent was not enough to provide you yourself with the things you needed as you grew up. In that case, a two-parent family may be extremely important to you!
 Is it important to me that my baby has a stay at home parent?
This may be very important to you, as it may be something that you yourself cannot give your child. Often times this is very important to Birth Moms because they themselves don’t want their baby to have to be in daycare.
For other Birth Moms, a stay at home parent is not quite as important. A Birth Mom may actually want their child to grow up in a family where there are dual incomes and an example of a working Mom. Often times working mothers have gone to college, earned a degree, and have a great career. Some Birth Moms actually want that kind of example in their child’s life.
Do I want my baby to be an only child or do I want him or her to have siblings?
This question is a harder because families change over time. An Adoptive Family may have no intentions of having another child besides the one they adopt from you. But years down the road things may change and they may become pregnant or decide to adopt again. On the other hand, they may plan to have future siblings for your child and have plans to adopt another child after yours and then for different reasons, it might not happen.
There are some Birth Mothers who want to place their child with a family who does not have any children yet, maybe because they were the first and they want their child to be the first too. Yet, to other Birth Mothers this might not be as important. A Birth Mother who had older brothers or sisters, or wished for them, may want her child placed with a family that already has children.
When choosing a family based on whether or not there are other children, it is best to remember that unplanned pregnancies happen, desires of the heart change, and while a family may fully intend to have a certain number of children…the reality is, things change!
Is religion a factor?
For some Birth Mothers religion is very important! If you were raised a devout Catholic, it might be important to you that your baby be raised by a family that is also Catholic. You may want your child to grow up with the same customs and traditions that you had as a child. At the same time, you may have not liked growing up in a family that practiced organized religion and you may want your child to live in a family that has no religion at all. For some Birth Moms, a loving environment is more important, and religion is not an issue.
Making a plan…
Before you begin meeting with and talking to couples, you should have an idea in your mind as to what type of adoption you are looking for. Do you want a very open adoption with the ability to visit anytime? Or would prefer a scheduled visit once a year? Or do you think visits might be too tough for you to handle and that pictures and updates would simply be the best thing for you? Or do you think that anything would be too hard and that a closed adoption might be the best thing for you.
Searching for a family can be overwhelming. But, most times, when a birthmother sees the family that they are meant to be matched with, they know in their heart that it is right. No lists or profiles are needed, they simply know.
To view prospective parents eager to complete their families, please select one of the search criteria below:
|
